Two Cups

 

Each spring our local homeschool support group hosts a Moms’ Tea.  Attendance is kept small and intimate – around 25 moms attend.  A theme is chosen to minister to the moms’ hearts - this year’s theme was “"What Cup Have You Been Given? (Seeking the Lord through Trials)”. 

I’ll admit when the e-mail announcing the tea arrived, I paid little attention.  That sounds like something a mom does for herself, and I don’t have time for those things these days.

Then a second, separate e-mail arrived – one asking me to be one of the three speakers for the tea.

Gulp.

My first instinct was to respond “No!”.  God has a sense of humor, though.  He reminded me that each week in co-op my girls are required to give a class presentation.  When they get nervous about it, I remind them that “it’s no big deal.”  Those words came back to haunt me. 

It did feel like a big deal to me, but I realized if I declined simply on the basis of fear of public speaking, my credibility with the girls would be damaged.

After much prayer, I accepted the invitation to speak, at least in my head – I didn’t officially notify the group until later.  And I began praying about what He would have me share.  I have many struggles, but one particular thing kept popping into my head.

No, Lord, I can’t talk about that without crying.  I don’t want to get up in front of a bunch of moms that I don’t really know and try to talk while crying.  Besides, who truly cares about how we’ve dealt with Sarah’s eczema?

Do it.  It will minister to more than you know.

So I began writing.  I sent a “prototype” of the first few paragraphs to the organizer of the event, who reaffirmed I was on the right track.  Secretly I think I was hoping she’d respond “that’s not at all what we wanted!”, but I took her approval as confirmation that my topic was what God wanted me to speak on.

I avoided preparing the rest of that speech for as long as I could.  I came up with every valid excuse I could find to postpone.  I found myself finishing the night before the speech.

Somehow, I found the writing process cathartic.  I had never fully communicated to anyone what the struggle was like.  People think, “oh, it’s just eczema”.  That can be said for kids who just have a little itchy patch behind their knee or in the bend of their elbow – but the degree to which Sarah suffered with eczema was extreme.

I intended to post a picture, but they hold such traumatic memories that I decided against it.  I don’t want a history of Sarah’s struggles out there in cyberspace.with

I volunteered to go first on the day of the tea. I knew if I sat and listened to the others, I’d compare my speech to theirs.  As I suspected, I couldn’t get through even the first few minutes of the speech without tears.  But as I looked out over those other moms, somehow I felt kindred spirits, and even saw a few others crying along with me.

And it turned out giving the speech wasn’t as bad as I feared.  Since that day, I’ve received several e-mails from moms in attendance indicating that the speech ministered to them. 

I’ve also received several requests to read the speech, so I’ve decided to post it here.   I pray it ministers to one of my readers.

************************

We were asked to speak on our “cup” and how God has walked with us through our trial, and how we have sought God during it. My testimony is not only that I sought God during my trial, but also that God patiently sought me.  And just a fair warning – I may need to simply read part of it. Evidently I wrote too much from the heart, because I can’t seem to get through it without crying – so I ask for your forgiveness in advance.

We’re heard the verse a million times:

Psalm 23:5 : Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

We’re heard this one too:

Luke 22:42 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

Two different scenes. Two different cups. One peaceful, the other filled with strife. One filled to overflowing with blessings; the other holding suffering and sacrifice.

I’ve had both cups.

For the most part, my cup has seemed (at least to me) to be the one filled with suffering and sacrifice. Not on my part, but on the part of my sweet, innocent child. I have a daughter with a chronic illness. Not a life-threatening illness, but one that affects the whole family nonetheless.

My cup runneth over.

My 11-yo daughter has suffered from severe eczema since birth. Eczema which covered her head-to-toe, to the point where even her eyelids would crack and bleed.

My cup runneth over.

I have watched my child being ostracized and avoided – by both children and adults. I have held her as she sobbed – gut-wrenching, body-wracking, heart-breaking sobs – because her soccer teammates called her “germy” girl and “eczema girl”, and laughed and pointed. A 7-year-old child should not feel such heartbreak.

My cup runneth over.

I have watched her in the shopping cart at the grocery store, head down, blonde hair hiding her face. I pushed her in the cart because the backs of her legs were flared so badly she couldn’t walk. She never peeked up and looked around. When I noticed and asked why, she cried and said she didn’t want to see everyone staring at her.

My cup runneth over.

I didn’t want the bad cup anymore. I wanted the good cup – the one with the sweet, refreshing, spring water. Not the one where my child had to suffer and pay the price.

I would guess that I poured that cup out and filled it a million times with my tears. My heart cried out to God, begging him to heal my baby.

The answer? “Not yet, my child.”

Years pass. My plea remains the same. “Father, I’ll take her suffering. Please give the eczema to me so she doesn’t suffer anymore. She’s suffered enough. Heal her, Father.”

“Not yet, my child.”

I continue to knock on God’s door, pleading for Him to intervene. How much longer would He wait? How much more could my baby endure? WHY was he allowing this?

“Not yet, my child.”

I’ll admit at some point I simply stopped asking. I wish I could say I accepted God’s answer, but I stopped asking because I was angry. Angry that God would let a little one suffer like Sarah had suffered. Angry that he’d let her suffer so long. Angry because I felt He ignored my pleas for her healing. I’m not proud of being so angry with God, but at the time it was my coping mechanism.

Over time, with much prayer, my anger slowly turned to acceptance. Acceptance that I was stuck with this cup – and that there wouldn’t be a miraculous healing of my child.

That acceptance also eventually resulted in me not trying to “fix” it anymore – not trying every single new lotion and cream that came out; not taking her to this doctor and that doctor; not spending every possible moment reading about eczema and every little thing that might help; not constantly having my radar up in case I happened to overhear something that might help. I learned to treat it as a chronic disease – something that must be managed, not cured.

In other words, I took my eyes off the bad cup.

When I did that, little things started pointing to a second cup – one I either hadn’t noticed, or one that I had been purposefully ignoring. I noticed something glinting in the background behind the cup of suffering. What was that shiny thing back there, behind the bad cup? It was a different cup - one beginning to show signs of holding blessings.

And I started to notice those blessings.

I noticed that Sarah is a kid magnet. Little kids gravitate to her, and she to them. Little kids are safe – they don’t judge, they just take you as you are. I believe if there were little ones in our neighborhood, she could earn her college tuition through babysitting.

I noticed that she loves the elderly - another group that are slow to judge. One of her favorite service projects in Awana has always been taking trips to Garnet Hill Rehab Center in Wylie. She ministers to the residents, but at the same time they minister to her. Acceptance is good for the soul.

Sarah has a hearty respect for life for all creatures. She doesn’t even want me to kill bugs! You’ve heard of catch and release fishing? Our house is a “catch and release” zone for all living things. (Well, there may have been one or two bugs that I’ve flushed down the toilet without her knowing…)

She has a talent for ballet. We’ve been blessed by her ballet studio – it’s another place where she’s been completely accepted, no matter how much her skin was flared. Her ballet teacher doesn’t tolerate anyone saying anything to her. She is encouraged there to be her best – and she is flourishing - flourishing so much that she is going to NYC this summer to train for three weeks in a classical ballet studio on Broadway with a famous ballerina.

One of the biggest blessings of all is that her eczema and allergies are what led us to homeschooling – and now I can’t imagine our life without it.

Those are just some of the blessings I noticed at first.

More and more as I took my eyes off that bad cup, the blessings cup began to shine and sparkle – and start to overflow.

The Lord provides ample water, even in the desert. I had been in a desert. What I didn’t realize was that I didn’t have just one cup – I had two. I had the one filled with suffering and sacrifice, but sitting just behind it was the cup of cool, refreshing water, overflowing with blessings. While my focus had been on the one cup, it obscured my view of the second.

John 7:37-38 says: “Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’”

Let Him be your cup. You may feel like you are in a dry place, but the Lord can still quench your thirst.

The Lord can give you water even in the midst of a spiritual desert.

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I don’t know what God’s plan is for Sarah, but God knows.

But what I do know is that He will use her suffering and sacrifice to His good. And the blessings will overflow her cup.

I’ll close with recommending that when you are focusing on the horrible thing happening in your life – your trial – take your eyes off that cup and look around, and you might be surprised what blessings surround you.

Psalm 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Thank you for allowing me to share.

Now WHERE did I put that?

Have you ever  done that?  Placed something in a “safe” place so you wouldn’t forget where it was, and then forgotten?

That’s been my afternoon.

The lost item? A Hobby Lobby bag containing the girls’ wooden cars for the Awana Grand Prix.  The cars that they designed, tirelessly worked to sculpt (with Daddy’s help), and lovingly painted, awaiting Daddy’s assistance with the final touches for the Awana Grand Prix race this weekend.

My dear  hubby searched this morning to no avail, and reluctantly broke the news to the girls that the cars were lost. 

This is the last year Sarah can participate.  Hannah has two more years, but early on she adopted the attitude of not caring how fast her car traveled, and only desired to design a memorable car.  What’d she choose?  A car in the shape of a Narwhal  whale.  (Have I ever mentioned the girls are science-obsessed?)   I was determined to find the mysteriously missing bag.

My house is now a wreck, because I pulled everything out of its place during the two-hour-long search.  I moved sofa cushions; looked under beds; looked in drawers and closets; checked their (admittedly) messy room; combed  through bookshelves; searched the crafts closet; everywhere I could think to look I looked.

Before I gave up, I chose to make one last-ditch effort to locate the bag – by praying.

Wait - why was praying my last-ditch effort?  That question both puzzles and distresses me.  Praying should have been my first action in the search.  

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.  Luke 12:7 (NAS)

If God takes the time to number the hairs on each child’s head, shouldn’t He care enough to help find a missing item to prevent a child’s disappointment?  Of course He does.

Then He said, “Throw out your net on the right-hand side of the boat, and you’ll get some!” So they did, and they couldn’t haul in the net because there were so many fish in it.  John 21:6 (NLT)  

If God cares about which side of the boat we throw our nets, why wouldn’t He care about where the missing bag is?  Our Father cares about the little things.

If only we’d simply ask. 

So I asked. 

Father, my sweet girls have their hearts set on racing their cars this weekend.  Would you please help me know where to look so that I don’t have to disappoint them?  Amen.

I opened my eyes and thought for a moment.

Hmm, did I look behind the big comfy chair in the living room?  Stuff tends to accumulate there, close to the kitchen.

Turns out I didn’t look there, because there was the bag, covered slightly by a blanket.

Thank you, Father, for caring about the little things.  My little ones will be excited that their cars have been found.

Just ask.

NYC, we’ll see you this summer!

 

Each spring thousands of ballerinas  across the country audition for summer intensives – training programs of varying lengths which are, indeed, intensive.

This is Sarah’s first audition season.  Her ballet instructors recommended three intensives for Sarah to audition for.  I added another – the summer intensive sponsored by The Gelsey Kirkland Academy of Classical Ballet, run by the legendary Gelsey Kirkland.  When I discovered that Ms. Kirkland, who is one of America’s great ballerinas, would be leading the auditions, I knew Sarah would benefit from having a class with her.

Sarah was happy as the audition began.  Parents weren’t allowed to watch, but we could hear what was happening.  Ms. Kirkland was authoritative, yet compassionate and caring – perfect for Sarah.   While we approached this particular audition as simply a learning experience, a mom’s heart always has hope for their child to suceed.  I didn’t expect the outcome we received - I was thrilled to learn that she was accepted for Ms. Kirkland’s program at the audition!

Excitement is running high in our house.  Sarah reminds me of Tigger – she is so excited she can hardly stop wiggling. 

For me, the task ahead is daunting – planning a trip to NYC for Sarah and I with as little financial trauma as possible.   It will be a sacrifice for our family.  But it may well be a life-changing experience for Sarah, so it will be a sacrifice worth making.

NYC, see you in June!

Citrus Fest

Recently Hannah began to hear commercials by Central Market for their Citrus Fest, and asked if we could visit the store during the promotion.  I love Central Market, but rarely shop there as I have found it to be a pocketbook’s peril.  Invariably, I become ensnared by their overabundance of choices in the produce department, and the meat department, and the specialty foods department,and the bakery, and…well, you get the idea.  But give me a specific reason that I need to frequent that store and I’m there.  Citrus Fest fit that bill.

Today was the day.  Sarah, Hannah and I began our citrus adventure before we even entered the store – brightly colored mounds of citrus fruit beckoned to us just outside the doors.  Once we investigated each one, we ventured inside and found ourselves faced with a citrus bar – containers of samples free for the snacking. 

Avoiding the grapefruit, I tried many of the other offered fruits.  Hannah loves most citrus fruits but also bravely tasted the grapefruit and decided that, like me, it was too sour for her tastes.  I have never succeeded in my effort to get Sarah to eat citrus fruits, so my goal was to find one that was sweet which might appeal to her.   Finding most of the samples a tad tart, the last sample container held Satsuma mandarins – seedless, sweet citrus perfection.   Encouraging Sarah to be brave and taste one, I held my breath and was rewarded by her smile – success!  A plastic produce bag was soon filled with Satsuma mandarins.

There were strange new fruits to discover – kumquats and buddha’s hand citron.

Further in to the store were more goodies to taste.  We sampled and came home with freshly-squeezed apple/orange juice, strawberry Magic Pop cakes (watching these being made was  quite fun!), and fresh guacamole made with specialty limes (the name escapes me at the moment,and it’s not included in the ingredient label).

Also finding the way into our basket were:

	Several more types of citrus fruit,  including another small bag of Satsuma mandarins.
A lemon pound cake
	Citrus-flavored marshmallows (three flavors:  blood orange, key lime, meyer lemon). The key lime was our favorite. Queen Bee  also offers vanilla-bean flavored marshmallows (somehow I resisted), along with strawberry/chocolate, toasted coconut, and several other flavors.  I sure wish their website was working, but the link at least provides their contact info.

Lastly, one non-citrus item we sampled was divine – Vanilla Cheesecake Fondue by KC Classic Gourmet Foods.  Click on the Fondue button if you dare.

The sample was served with a graham cracker-like cookie.  Note that Sarah is licking the fondue off the cookie, and Hannah is licking the cup.   Final verdict from both?  YUM.

Topping off our Central Market adventure was the discovery of a gelato bar.  The girls have not eaten gelato since our trip to Italy, during which we developed a gelato addiction. 

What a lovely way to close our “field trip” to Central Market!

Not surprisingly, the first conversation after our return home included their question, “When can we go back?”

My wish for 2012? An organized home!

 

Homeschooling.  Parenting.  The girls’ outside activities.  Being a great wife.  Our Classical Conversations co-op.  Homemaking.  Working.  Living life.  All things I want or need to do. 

Truly, to get everything done I need more than twenty-four hours a day.  Or perhaps my weekend needs a weekend. 

Neither of those is likely to happen.

I attempt to organize in spurts, but it always gets worse before it gets better.   If I had five to six weeks of time that I could devote to cleaning and organizing, without any other responsibilities/activities, I could probably get the whole house done – but I don’t have that sort of time. 

Recently on the web I found 31 Days to Clean.  It looks like a wonderful program, and I love the spiritual aspect.

I fear I might need a longer than 31 days – but I intend to try.  Maybe I end up using the principles in the book and applying them to one room  or closet a month.   I’d be thrilled to have a clean and organized home by the end of 2012!

The book is available as a download for only $4.99.  You can even get it for the Kindle or Nook!

If a $4.99 book helps me get my house clean and organized, it’s worth a hundred times that. 

Who’s with me?  I need accountability.

 

Words that sting…from a 9-year-old

 

We’ve had a crazy couple of weeks – crazy busy, that is, culminating with a ballet fundraiser (Tea with the Sugar Plum Fairy!) which required me to volunteer in the church kitchen all day Saturday.   Yesterday I was bone tired.  Add to that the cold, rainy weather, and the extent of my desire was to curl up in bed and nap.  Of course that was impossible – too many “catch up” things to do.

By yesterday evening I was a tired, cold, cranky mess.  Most of the “must do today” things on my list didn’t get done.  My feet still hurt from Saturday.  The girls were bouncing off the walls with energy, arguing with each other, and resisting bedtime.

Hannah came in to complain about her sister.  My fatigue took over and I snapped at her, and she tucked her head and retreated to her room.  Soon after I heard whimpering – she was crying.  I called to her and hesitantly she re-entered our room, but wouldn’t look at me – evidence I had inflicted heart pain on my baby.  I held out my arms and she resisted – another sign she was wounded.  Finally she approached me and the crying increased, unintelligible words spilling out amid the tears.  I gently held her face in my hands trying to calm her with words of comfort, but the tears continued.  At last she was able to communicate somewhat clearly:

“Mommy, Sarah is stubborn, and I’m stubborn, and you’re not full of grace like you usually are.”

Ouch.

If only I hadn’t let my fatigue control my words and actions.

If only I had used a softer tone or chosen different words.  I don’t remember exactly what I said – perhaps it was just how I said it.   Or was it the combination of words and tone that wounded my child?  I can’t remember how many times I’ve had the “watch your tone” discussion with the girls.

If only I remembered the emptiness inside when I believed it was not God’s plan for me to marry and have children.

If only I had remembered that my children are  borrowed from God.   I have them for such a brief time that every second is a precious gem.

If only.

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich.  2 Corinthians 8:9

Jesus sacrificed it all for us.  He gave us grace.  Even through His fatigue, He never used cutting, hurtful words toward those He loved. 

Lord, may it be the same with me.  May I always remember to show my children Your grace.

I asked for Hannah’s forgiveness.  She graciously gave it.

I went to sleep, grieved that I had caused my sweet child heart pain, but grateful for her grace.

Thanksgiving and Contentment

 

I have always struggled with worry about what other people think of me.  Perhaps it comes from a childhood filled with teasing and bullying.  Perhaps it results from knowing in my head that I’m a child of God, but not feeling it in my heart.  Either  way, I’m sick of it.   Sick of not feeling worthy.  Sick of feeling less valuable than everyone else.  Sick of worrying about how to instill self esteem into my girls when I don’t have it myself.  Those feelings of inadequacy color my entire world.  Of course I’ve prayed for God to help me get over this.  So far, nothing doing.  I know “no” is an answer, so I know even my feelings of misery will have usefulness at some point.  At least that’s what I tell myself.

Recently a dear friend had surgery.  As I delivered a meal to her family one evening, the spirit of discontent overtook me.  She lives in a neighborhood that my family could never even dream of affording.  My family lives in an older part of town, in a simple home – one that needs many repairs and improvements.  Somehow I connect the size/appearance/location of my home with my worthiness.  I believe Satan uses those feelings to prevent me from  playing hostess to friends/family – I can’t remember the last time we had anyone over, and my girls have never had friends sleep over.  I’m just too embarrassed.  I know it’s not rational, but…those feelings of inadequacy rear their ugly head again.

I began to pray q familiar prayer as I drove out of my friend’s neighborhood – Lord, please make me content with what I have and not embarrassed to be a hostess and share.

(But with a postscript – “but please, Lord, help us find a way to re-do our kitchen – we really need a new one – I don’t want to be embarrassed anymore”.)

Sometimes answers to prayer come in unexpected ways.

Recently our church had a Reach 360 campaign.  Church leadership chose three of our mission churches within a 360 degree radius of our church.  Church members donated bags of food, and members were asked to volunteer to deliver them to residents surrounding the three mission churches on a Saturday morning.  I seek  opportunities to expose the girls to missions activities and evangelism in action – so we signed up.

The appointed Saturday dawned chilly yet beautiful.  We drove toward our appointed mission church to join the other volunteers.  We exited the freeway, and the further we drove the poorer and more neglected the neighborhoods became.  Once at the church, we determined teams and logistics and areas, and off we went. 

Our assigned street had small rental homes, boards covering windows that were obviously broken.  Our team approached several houses and knocked, without getting an answer. 

The girls were happy to be there.

Eventually I spoke with an older gentleman, who was taking care of his 5 children along with his sister and her two children.  Several windows in his home were boarded up, and the front door had no doorknob.    We blessed him with a bag of food and blankets, asked for his prayer requests, and walked away.

As we walked down the sidewalk, on the outside it appeared I was continuing with my team to the next house.  On the inside, I was listening to God speak to me.

Do you see, Becky?  You prayed for contentment – do you see how blessed you are? Do you see that if these people drove through your neighborhood they might think the same as you did when you drove through your friend’s neighborhood?

Yes, Lord.  I am blessed.  Thank You for reminding me.

Do you see how grateful they are just for a simple bag of food?  You have a full pantry and a full freezer.

Yes,  Lord.  I am blessed.  Thank You for reminding me.

While your home may need repairs, it is a home with solid doors and windows and a secure roof.  It protects you and your loved ones.

Yes,  Lord.  I am blessed.   Thank You for reminding me.

Your family is happy and healthy.  Your home is filled with love, both for each  other and for Me.

Yes, Lord.  I am blessed. Thank You for reminding me.

You are blessed.  Remember that, and share it.  Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Yes, Lord.  I am blessed.  Thank you for reminding me.

Fast forward to today.  Thanksgiving.  God’s reminders fresh in my mind,  I prepared Thanksgiving dinner for my sweet family.  The oven that needs a little longer to bake than what the recipe calls for didn’t annoy me quite as much.   The large burner on my cooktop that doesn’t work was only slightly annoying.

This evening my sweet family sat down in our not-so-beautiful kitchen – the one that needs new countertops and new appliances – and celebrated Thanksgiving with our version of a feast.

The papers on the plates are homemade place cards that the girls made to make our table fancy.

My sweet Hannah said the blessing as we all sat around our little table and held hands.

Yes, Lord.  I am blessed.  Thank you for reminding me.

2011 Gratitude Challenge – November 1

  

A friend of mine (she’s an online friend and part of our TOS homeschool review crew leadership,  but I wish she was a friend in “real life”) is hosting the 2011 Gratitude Challenge through her blog at Garden of Learning.   For each day during November (or as many days as you can), post about something you’re thankful for, then link up your post for that day with that day’s post at Garden of Learning.   With Thanksgiving and Christmas swiftly approaching, I think this is a great idea to get our minds focused on the blessings we’ve received.

 

When I decided to participate, my first thoughts of gratitude were for earthly things – my family, a roof over my head, food on the table, income, our activities, etc.

 

I quickly realized that without one other thing, I’d likely have none of those things.

 

 

Over two thousand years ago, three crosses stood on a hill called Golgotha.  On the center cross, my Savior died to save me.  He gave His life to atone for my sins (and yours too) so that I could live forever in Heaven. 

 

I have seen the “place of the skull”.  I have stood beside it singing The Old Rugged Cross.  It is sobering to stand on the place that determined my future, the place where Jesus died.  Holy ground indeed.

 

Without His sacrifice I would have nothing, be worth nothing.

 

Thank you, Father, for sending Your Son to die on the cross for me.  Thank you, Jesus, for giving your life for me.  

 

I’m grateful today and every day for Jesus’ sacrifice, for God’s love, for Jesus’ resurrection, and for the assurance that after my earthly days are finished, I’ll spend eternity in Heaven.

 

I pray that everyone who reads this post has that same assurance.  (If you don’t, and you’d like to know how to have the thing that I’m most grateful for, please e-mail me.)

 

 

Please hop on the Gratitude Challenge!  Click HERE to link your November 1 gratitude post.

Sunshine and swings…

 

Sweet sunshine streaming through the window, beckoning us outside. We can’t resist, so we venture to the park. The air, while not yet cool-crisp, offers a pleasant respite from the 100+-degree torture of the summer.

I watch as the girls squeal in delight on the swings, an empty swing beside them taunting me. My new resolve after vacation being to “say yes more”, I say “Yes!” to the swing and join my giggling girls in the pure joy of swinging on a sunny afternoon. I am carefree, if only for a moment, relishing the delight of the day.

A beautiful afternoon making simple memories – may there be thousands more like it.

Goal Planning Monday - 4.4.11

Here's my second post for Goal Planning MOnday.   How'd I do on my first goals which I set, ahem, over a month ago?  

Epic fail.  Almost.  I did manage to get our new mattresses ordered - this past Saturday, when I realized I wasn't going to be able to report that I accomplished any of my goals.  In 4-5 weeks, My Hero and I will be sleeping on a comfy, new mattress.  Did I mention that the mattress set we're using is the same one I purchased when I moved out on my own the first time 25 years?  It was time for a new mattress.  

Clean slate now.  No going back to the old goals, even  though they're in the back of my mind.

New goals for this week:

1 - avoid big projects at work.  I've been working 40+ hours a week since at least mid-January (often more than that - one week was 90 hours!), and I'm supposed to be part-time.  I miss my children.  I miss my family.  I miss my sleep!  So the goal this week is to avoid any more big projects and to attempt to communicate that I really want my part-time job back, at least for the foreseeable future.

2 - decide on color/stain for new kitchen cabinets.  All that overtime I've worked since January will be paying for new kitchen cabinets and new granite countertops.   I can't pick a granite color until we pick cabinets.  Maple or cherry?  I was sure My Hero would go for Maple, but lo and behold he picked cherry!  Now I'm afraid it will make my kitchen look like a cave if I pick the granite that was my favorite, because it's dark.  So, hopefully we'll have time this week to go look at cabinet options.

3 - clean the house.  You can imagine how it looks with me working so many hours.

4 - accomplish goal #3.  I thought cleaning the house deserved two spots on the goal list.

No more goals for this week.  I think that's enough!  

Hopefully I'll be more successful with this list than I was with the last one! 

Thanks to Mama Manuscripts for getting me started on goal setting Mondays!

First day of Bible in 90 Days...

I often feel as if I'm the only person in the world who has not read the entire Bible.  I'm constantly given chances to do it, but I just never follow through.  Events of life get in the way, or I get bogged down into too many things I haven't been able to say "no" to, or I'm just too tired.  However, none of those excuses are valid.  How am I to teach God's Word to my girls if I don't know it myself?  How can I encourage them to have a daily quiet time when I don't do it myself?  Can I really say "do as I say, not as I do" in this instance?  That's not setting a very good example.

This year one of my goals is to just get it done - read the Bible all the way through, every single word.  No studying, no reading footnotes, no in-depth research with concordances - just straight reading.  I'm determined to do it this time, and The The Bible in 90 Days program, along with an online accountability group and challenge hosted by Mom's Toolbox, will help me reach that goal.

When I decided to join the challenge, I started making grandiose plans - I'd read, my husband would read, and the girls would read a modified plan. As I thought about my plan, I started getting stressed - the first sign of wanting to quit, and I haven't even started yet!  So the grandiose plan got put aside in favor of a basic plan - I'll read during this challenge.  Maybe I'll read again during the next challenge, and I'll pray about my husband reading then too.  Then I'll come up with a reading plan for the girls.  Long-term goal?  I'll read through this time, and then start a slower read-through for the rest of the year, and then next year I'll factor the girls' reading plan into our homeschool. 

Now, to figure out how to reach my goal.  For convenience, I now have the Bible in 90 Days hardback version by my bed, the e-version on my Kindle, and the e-version on my iPhone.  Surely between those three locations I can read for an hour a day. 

If you're interested in the challenge, go check out  Mom's Toolbox.  

Today is the first day.  One of the next 18 hours of this day will be spent immersed in my Father's Word.

Blessings to all! 

Naturalist Art Camp

We are very lucky to have a great nature center near us (http://www.heardmuseum.org/) that offers homeschool classes and summer camps.  It's the only place in our area (at least that I know of) that offers classes for homeschoolers that combine classroom learning with outdoor exploration/observation - the classes are priceless, and my girls absolutely LOVE them.

Last summer they took several camps, and wanted to do the same this summer. This week they've been taking the Naturalist Art Camp (ages 8-12).  They've observed nature, and they've drawn nature - today's topic was butterflies. 

Here's Punkin's painting:

and here's Puddin's painting:

I thought they were pretty good!  Puddin was upset because she drew the butterfly's antennae on his bottom too, but I think it's adorable anyway.

Our nephew from Germany is also taking the camp - I can't find his painting or I'd post it too!

I'd rather have these than a Rembrandt any day.

Future chess champs

Punkin and Puddin and G., their cousin from Germany (here for 4 weeks!) are attending UTD's chess camp. The camp was highly recommended, and I have to say that all three are loving it! G. has played chess in the past, but the girls are both beginners. I'm going to have to put this camp on my list for next year too!

So much for keeping up with our Germany trip.

Guess you've noticed I stopped posting Germany updates. When we got to Sylt, we got SO busy that it was hard to post! Things didn't slow down once we left Sylt either. I'm still hopeful that I can go back and recreate some posts so I'll remember what we did!

The best laid plans...

We're on the way to Sylt...

I am writing this on the train from Cologne to Sylt, part of the North Frisian Islands in the North Sea. It is cloudy and rain is threatening. The temp was okay in Cologne, but I suspect it will be much cooler on Sylt. Not ideal, because I was hoping to spend some time on the beach. Hopefully the humidity willl be high enough to compensate for the cooler temps. We may have to wear jeans and jackets, but at least we can say we played on the beach!

Justus picked us up this morning around 8am. It is amazing how much luggage is needed for four people when the opportunity for doing laundry is unknown. Also, the girls' meds, nebulizer, wet wrap supplies, etc. takes up SO much room. I feel like I need to wear a sign that says “this is NOT all clothes!”.

We boarded our train about 9am, and won't arrive in Sylt until around 5pm. The dining car is only 2 cars away, so we'll be having lunch on board. After riding the bullet train, the girls seem rather unimpressed with this train, even though it is also fairly fast. I think, though, that we are all exhausted – Puddin did not sleep well last night, and that means that neither I nor My Hero slept well. Finally My Hero and Puddin switched beds, and I got Puddin to sleep – but by then it was around 4am, so that wasn't too much help, since my alarm was set for 6:45.

Punkin is playing her Nintendo, Puddin is looking like she's going to nap, and My Hero is napping – so I think I will too.

Guten Tag aus Deutschland.....

Our day in Bonn...

This morning we made it a point to set an alarm so the kitchen staff wouldn't have to wait for us. :)

The breakfasts (complimentary) here are wonderful. Eggs cooked to order; bacon; sausage; pan-fried potatoes with bacon pieces; fresh fruit; fresh rolls (which Sarah has come to love), all sorts of juices and cereals and toppings; yogurt; and best of all, fresh, piping hot coffee – all included with the room.

This morning we headed to the Bonn science museum to see the recently discovered Argentinian dinosaur, which they say is the largest ever discovered. Fascinating. We toured the rest of the dinosaur exhibit, which is on loan from the Argentinian museum. Looked at a couple of other exhibits of local animals/plants - but air conditioning is not the norm in Germany, the museum was fairly crowded yesterday, and we were all hot and ready to get outside and get some air.

After the museum, we walked down the street to the Rhine (the girls have been fascinated by the river while we've been here. There was a very nice overlook where we took some pics, and then walked downstairs to walk along the river. Punkin has really started being interested in rocks and wanted to collect some (I have no idea how I'm going to get everything packed to get home, since there are weight limits on our luggage!). She was disappointed that we couldn't actually get to the shore so she could get some “rocks from the Rhine”, but we found an old staircase down to the shore which ws chained off but didn't have a sign saying we couldn't use it. My Hero climbed down and got both the girls some rocks, and they were tickled pink.

We then headed to the Beethoven Geberstag Haus (where Beethoven was born). We intended to take the tour, but our time was short. After going in and looking at the brochure and the time, we decided that was better left to next time so we'd enjoy it more. But we did take pics by the plaque outside so we could prove we'd been there. :) We headed next door to the gift shop (I don't think it's possible with the girls to go anywhere without hitting the gift shop). Punkin picked a lovely scarf with musical notes and instruments, Puddin picked a small music box that plays Fur Elise. (Hmm, wonder if there's an umlaut in special characters...)

Girls were thirsty then, so I'd seen a McDonald's on our walk to the Beethoven Haus, so we stopped to get fries and drinks. My Hero was quite upset to see that the Germany McD's currently have the McRib, and “our” McD's doesn't. :) I think if we hadn't had dinner plans, we might've had McD's so he could have had a McRib or two. BTW, our french fries weren't nearly as tasty as the ones at home.

We headed back to the car and back to the hotel. We were meeting My Hero's brother (Justus) for afternoon cake in honor of Johannes' (our nephew) 18th birthday. His big birthday present was a used car, and when we drove up it had a big red ribbon on it. I had already coached the girls not to talk about the car, for fear of spoiling the surprise, so was glad I didn't have to worry about that! There was apple (apfel) cake, strawberry (erdbeeren) cake and chocolate (schokolade) cake. (I chose strawberry, because it is delicious.)

My sister-in-law was so sweet and caring about Punkin's allergies. When the girls started sniffling (there are dogs, Otto and Paul, that are sometimes indoors).we moved the “party” outdoors. The girls were thrilled to meet their cousins, especially cousin Emma (who is six and adorable). Barbara (my sister-in-law) said she had been worried about how Emma and the girls would get along since they can't communicate (Emma speaks no English, the girls speak very little German) – but the worries were for nothing, because they got along famously. Occasionally they'd need something translated, but for the most part they were fine.

We brought gifts for all three cousins (Johannes, Alexander and Emma). The boys were given two Texas t-shirts (one with “Don't Mess With Texas” and the other with a Texas longhorn), and when they opened them they immediately went inside and put one on. For Emma, we brought a cute little denim purse with pink beaded accents, a math game, and a teddy bear – all of which she loved. We also gave Johannes 200 Euro for his birthday, and he was, of course, thrilled.

Alexander (almost 17) is doing a student exchange program this fall, and will be staying with a host family in Canada for 5 months, with the possibility of extending it to 10 months. When I asked him if he would have a chance to visit us in Texas while he's there, his eyes list up. I really hope he gets to come for at least a couple of weeks – the girls loved him. He was playing with them just like he was their age – I think it would be quite fun to have him around for a while.

We visited at Justus and Barbara's house for several hours, then headed to dinner. Once again, we didn't get back to the hotel until around 10:30 or so. I got the girls to bed, then started packing because tomorrow morning at 8am Justus picks us up to take us to the Hauptbahnoff (train station) for our trip to Sylt. I hope I got enough done so that I don't have to rush so much tomorrow morning!

I am worried, though. The family apartment that we were to stay in in Sylt was the best one for us because of Punkin's allergies, and the part of the family that had the key left town. So now we have to stay in Justus'/Barbara's apartment, and the dogs have been there – so I have no idea how the girls' (and my) allergies will tolerate it. I guess we'll have to see...

Gute Nacht aus Deutschland!

Chocolate in Cologne

After our wonderful breakfast, we were off to Cologne. First stop was the Cologne Dom – an amazing Catholic church in downtown Cologne. I had forgotten that chalk artists come to the Dom every day to draw chalk paintings on the concrete surrounding the Dom – and they're incredible! Today there were also several people in costume when we went inside the Dom (angel, Egyptian, Charlie Chaplin, etc.). By the time we came out, only a Charlie Chaplin likeness was still there, and Puddin got her picture taken with him. Punkin decided she'd rather pick out postcards than have a pic with Charlie.

The Dom has been under construction, for one thing or another, for the last 600 years – now it's mostly maintenance. It has wonderful old gargoyles (although a tad scary) on the exterior, and the interior has the most wonderful stained-glass windows I've ever seen. The girls lit a candle in memory of Mama – a special memory of our own. The girls were amazed that the Bishops are actually entombed in the Dom.

When we came out, only the costumed Charlie Chaplin was still there, and Puddin wanted her picture taken with him. Punkin decided she'd rather pick out postcards than get a pic with Charlie. After the pic, Puddin joined in the postcard hunt, and I headed for the bathroom. Luckily I had a one euro coin in my pocket, because it cost half of that to go to the bathroom! Very odd, in that the man taking the money actually went into the bathroom to see if there were any available, and then when a woman came out, he went into the stall to check it.

After the Dom it was time to walk along the Rhine. We walked to the bridge, and found a fence loaded with padlocks – but not for security reasons. It seems that couples add a padlock with their names written/engraved. We need to find out why, but keep forgetting to ask!

The girls were enthralled with the Rhine – we studied it this year in our Classical Conversations co-op, so it was neat to see them make that connection. We then headed down from the bridge to the walkway along the Rhine. We saw a river cruise ship undock, and then...

...it was on to the Chocolate Museum – yum! It was absolutely wonderful, and a bargain – 21 euro for a family pass. When we entered we were given a small piece of Linz chocolate – yum again. Started with a discussion of cocoa trees and where they grow, how the rain forest is disappearing (Hannah “play fainted” when she read that they predict that 3 species go extinct every hour). After that it was into simulated rainforest to feel the temp and humidity – it included a cocoa tree and mango tree, which was pretty neat.

Then it was on to the manufacture of chocolate – each machine was numbered with an explanation of what it did. The machines we saw were making the very same small chocolate bars that we were given when we went in! A worker was giving out wafer cookies dipped in warm chocolate – oh my, was it good. (Diet? What diet?) Then it was upstairs to see them making chocolate hearts and chocolate bunnies (and, to Puddin's delight, chocolate cats). We saw chocolate truffles being made and moving down the conveyor belt, and saw chocolate on a stick, shaped like the Cologne Dom. Luckily for the girls the workers were giving away the flawed Dom stick chocolates, so they had another chocolate treat.

The chocolate museum also included a museum with old wrappers, advertising, and a part that contained the history of eating chocolates. Did you know there used to be chocolate bars (not the Hershey's kind) where you could go and drink chocolate?

The upper floor, which we almost didn't visit, had antique chocolate candy dispensers and had really fun interactive games that the girls loved (see pics). What fun!

After the museum, it was on to the store. I don't think I've ever smelled something so wonderful as that store filled with chocolate. We loaded up our basket – the girls' ballet teacher is going to be very happy!

On the way out we saw a bride and groom coming for their wedding reception – what better place than a chocolate museum!

Then with very tired feet/legs, we had to make the trek back to the Dom where we were parked. We decided at that point it was a very good thing that we had not walked up the 300+ steps to the top of the Dom.

We headed back to our hotel and rested for a few minutes, then My Hero's brother arrived and we headed to an Italian restaurant for dinner. Now we're back at the hotel – the girls and I are in our room, My Hero and his brother are in the restaurant talking and catching up.

Tomorrow is another busy day – Gute Nacht aus Deutschland!

Amazed by hotel staff...

Last night after I posted we were up for about an hour longer. Didn't set an alarm this morning, so when we woke up it was already 9am. My Hero got in the shower so we could get going - figured we'd missed breakfast but could pick up something on the way. In a few minutes, the phone rang - when I answered, it was the hotel owner asking if we wanted breakfast, and saying that the kitchen staff was *waiting* for us. Hello? Really? Amazing! We quickly got dressed and headed to the dining room, where we were cheerfully greeted and led to a table already set and waiting for us. They had a lovely buffet, plus cooked eggs/bacon to order.

This is a lovely little privately owned hotel - the Design Hotel Eifel, which is in Euskirchen (southwest, I believe, of Cologne) - we highly recommend it. (ww.design-hotel-eifel.de) We have the family room, which consists of two twin beds in the outer room, one queen-size bed in another room, and a small sitting room with lots of windows with a desk/chair and a comfy chair for reading. You can open the window in the sitting room and reach out and touch the trees. The girls were excited to see a bird nest right by the window!

May I just say that I think the best part was having a pot of hot coffee already on the table? First coffee I've had all week!

And now that I've had breakfast, it's time for a shower and time to start our exploration of Cologne!

Gute Morgen aus Deutschland!

On to Koln/Cologne!

This morning started out early, because I had a lot to do to get us ready to leave for Cologne.

Barsinghausen is such a charming little town. Oma lives above a bank and has the entire second floor of the building. Her windows look out on one of the main streets of Barsinghausen, so I awoke to the sounds of people walking and talking and starting their day. After we were all up and dressed, we sent Punkin to get bread for breakfast. There is a bakery right next door, so Oma gets fresh bread every day. Punkin had instructions on how to get there but, bless her heart, she was disoriented and walked right past it - she walked all the way down to the park (with the see-saw) and realized she'd better turn around. Came back home, and we pointed her in the right direction. She went in and ordered ("funf brodchen, bitte") all by herself, and was quite proud of herself - and is excited that she has such a funny story to tell about buying bread.

We left for the train station, and boarded a regional train to Hannover. From Hannover, we boarded the ICE (inter-city express) bullet train - think 140 mph! The girls really loved it, since they'd never been on a train before.

My Hero's brother picked us up at the hauptbahnhof (train station), and brought us to our hotel. It is a lovely little place called the Eifel Hotel. Our room is great, and very colorful. Cologne seems to be in one of the more "permissive" areas of Germany - one of the girls' first comments upon walking into the hotel was "there sure are a lot of naked people in the decorations" - and they're right!

And our bathroom has a glass door, with "Think Big" on it. I'll try to post a pic tomorrow. I ask you - what exactly is the point of having a clear bathroom door?

My Hero's brother took us to dinner at a Greek restaurant. I never knew this, but Greek restaurants usually have lots of grilled options, which is great because of Punkin's egg allergy (no breading with egg for her). We had a great dinner and great conversation.

Now we're back in our hotel room and about to pass out from exhaustion!

Gute Nacht aus Deutschland!

Our first full day in Deutschland...

Today was an easy day, and we planned it that way. Just spending time with Oma, and resting from our travels. We did walk around Barsinghausen - a charming little town where Oma lives. There is a park with a huge see-saw that the girls love - so I'm sure we'll be spending lots of time there. Did a bit of shopping, got prepaid phone cards so we have working phones here, and basically just took it easy. Tomorrow we take the train to Koln/Cologne where My Hero's brother lives. So today I unpacked - tomorrow I re-pack. But very glad to be here. Nothing much exciting happening, so will post more later.

Gute Nacht aus Deutschland!