Before…and after…

Even after almost six years, the pain is still fresh.

I remember standing in a quiet room looking at my Mama – except I gazed at her as she lay still, cold to the touch, in a casket.  Could she really be gone from this earth?  She appeared peaceful, while inside my sorrow churned despite the shock.

Only nine days after the diagnosis, she was gone.  Technically, with both parents gone, I had obtained orphan status.

Sing to God, sing praise to His name, extol Him who rides on the clouds — His name is the LORD— and rejoice before Him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.”  Psalm 68:4-5

I tried to cling to this verse.  Valiantly, I tried.

Over time I have learned to deny the ever-present pain of the loss of my Mama.  Certain events bring it rushing back.  Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s Day…

…and funerals.  I’ve been to my fair share of funerals in my life, starting fairly young.

There was my uncle’s funeral as young  child – the first I remember - where I wore for the first time the beautiful new, soft grey coat that Mama had just given me.  The coat I promptly threw up on during the funeral.

There was my Daddy’s funeral just before I turned 10.   I remember it, but recall few details other than my beloved cousin Sheila sitting next to me.

Many others followed, including Mama’s…the one by which I measure time.

Today I attended the funeral of a sweet friend’s brother.  The moment I entered the chapel, arm-in-arm with another precious friend, all the emotions I daily ignore overflowed.  On the outside I appeared calm, with no tears - on the inside, the opposite emotions raged. 

In my mind’s eye, I saw Mama’s casket. 

It was a lovely service.  My friend welcomed the friends and family in attendance, and spoke eloquently of her brother.  Movingly, the pastor spoke of living water.  The soloist sang with the voice of an angel.

In my heart, I mourned for my friend, and for myself.

You see, my time is now divided into two segments:  before Mama’s funeral, and after.

 

Bountiful Baskets Bounties

Recently I’ve begun ordering baskets from Bountiful Baskets, and have been delighted with the results!

What is Bountiful Baskets?  It’s a nationwide food co-op which includes fresh vegetables, fruit, bread, and other food items weekly (or every two weeks, depending on your location).

Bountiful Baskets is growing by leaps and bounds, with more volunteer-led locations springing up each week.

So, what do you get in the basket?  Basket content changes every week, so there’s always something new to try.  Usually you receive six types of vegetables and six types of fruit.  Here’s this week’s bounty:

1 cantaloupe 1 pineapple 2 mangoes 8 bananas 5 kiwi fruits 8 apples brussels sprouts 2 English cucumbers broccoli 5 hot peppers 3 bell peppers 3-lb. bag of butter gold potatoes 1living butter lettuce (in the    plastic box under the broccoli)

All of the above was $15, plus a handling fee of $1.50.  That,  my friends, is a bargain – have you shopped the produce aisles lately?  I have never had a problem  with the quality of anything I’ve received.  A benefit is that my girls are trying things I would not normally purchase (kiwi, mangoes, fresh pineapple, etc.).

Weekly add-ons are also offered – anything from bread, to organic tomatoes, to granola, to specialty packs.  I added the Asian pack this week:

Bok Choy Napa cabbage 2 yellow onions 1 head garlic 8 water chestnuts 1 bunch scallions 1 celery Thai basil Snow peas Fresh ginger

Price for the Asian pack was $8.50.  Yet another amazing bargain. 

Yummy!

Want more info?

Locate pick-up sites and learn how to start participating in Bountiful Baskets.

Read the FAQ, the co-op’s policies, or get product storage information.

Check them out on FACEBOOK.

Try Bountiful Baskets – and enjoy!

Common courtesy on the highway – is it even possible?

I live in an enormous metroplex area. Traffic is, usually, horrendous on all area freeways during the three-hour period surrounding rush hour. If there’s a wreck, you’d better hope you have a somewhat full gas tank. Patience wanes. Tempers flare. Crazy drivers prevail.

I am often amazed at the extent of the craziness. Recently we were on a toll road, and another car was in the lane next to us. As it was the middle of the day, both cars were moving at the posted speed limit (70 mph). Suddenly I hear the roar of a motorcycle – not in his own lane, but speeding between our car and the car next to us, doing at least 80. Did you catch that? Between the cars, literally driving on the dotted white line. One wrong move by any of these three vehicles and there would have been a horrible wreck, one that would have been burned into the mind of my children (riding in the back seat) for the rest of their lives. Complete and utter idiocy on the part of the motorcyclist.

What is it that makes a sane person act crazy once they get behind the wheel? I’d like to propose the following “rules of the road” for the freeway:

1 – If a driver is kind enough to slow down to let you merge into a lane, take 5 seconds to throw your hand up and wave “thanks”. Truly, it’s common courtesy. Likewise, if you’re driving and you see that someone needs over, has their blinker on, and they’re quickly running out of room, do something unexpected – slow down and let them over. Truly, it won’t hurt you. (See #4 below.)

2 – Related to #1 above, use your blinker. It’s not just for decoration. Don’t assume that other drivers know you need to change lanes if you don’t have your blinker on. And don’t get miffed if no one lets you in if you don’t use it. Again, it’s there for a reason – use it.

3 – Don’t think that just because you drive a fancy car - or a muscle car, or a truck with a lift kit that raises it 5 feet off the ground - that it means you have the right to be wherever you want to be (or do whatever you want to do) on the road. It’s a public road, not a private one with your name on it.

4 – It really does not make you a lesser person if you end up in the lane behind a minivan, or a little red truck, or a beat-up sedan. If you need to change lanes, take advantage of a wide open space – don’t try to force your way in front of the last car in line just because you don’t want to be “last”.

5 – If a lane is merging with your lane, and the cars in it have no place to go, it does not make you appear a better man (or woman) by preventing cars from merging.  In fact, it makes you appear like a jerk.

6 – Don’t text while you’re driving, or watch your smart phone screen in any other fashion. Beware that if it’s nighttime (or even twilight), it’s very obvious that you’re viewing your smart phone screen (those screens are bright).

7 – If you don’t know where you’re going, use a GPS. If you don’t have a GPS and you have to use a map, don’t try to unfold/fold/read a map while you’re speeding down the freeway at 70 mph. Or even 50. Or 40. Pull off the road, figure out where you need to go, then continue.

8 – Realize that if you drive like a maniac, you’re not only putting your own life in danger but also the lives of those around you. The person in the car next to you is someone’s mother, or grandfather, or daughter – not to mention any children.

9 – Know that if you’re in my area and I witness any of these things, I start praying for you since it’s likely that soon you’re going to cause a wreck. It’s also likely that you won’t be the one that’s seriously hurt – it will be the innocent who was unlucky enough to get in your way.

10 – Think about whether you would want a loved one to drive the way you drive. I constantly understand that if my children are with me in the car, I am demonstrating how to drive.

11 – Pay attention to the road. You are literally behind the wheel of a machine weighing tons (http://cars.lovetoknow.com/How_Much_Does_My_Car_Weigh). If that’s not enough to convince you to drive safely, search for “texting and driving” or “distracted driving” on YouTube – it might save your life.

You would think all these things would be common sense. Evidently, that would be giving too much credit to the drivers in my area, because these are all things I’ve seen.

Can you tell my drive home today was less than stress-free?

Vent over.   :)

One of those days…

I wish I could tell you that every day in our homeschooling home is hearts and roses.  I can’t.

Today was a non heart/flowers day.    Admittedly, I can attribute many of today’s issues due to my foul mood.  Today’s lengthy to –do/appointments list was a major contributor to my crankiness – too many things to do, too many places to be, too little time.

The girls key off my mood – today they were wild children.   If they weren’t outright ignoring my requests, they questioned them – which didn’t improve my mood.   Our last appointment was the final  Monday night rehearsal for the Nutcracker.  On the drive home, I advised them to get into bed as quickly as possible upon our arrival at home.  My frustration,  annoyance and impatience was clearly evident.

You can always count on God to gently (or not so gently) point you in the direction of what you need to read.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NASB) (emphasis mine)

It wasn’t my girls who were wild children today – it was me.  It wasn’t my girls’ fault that our schedule was so packed – it was mine.  I was completely out of control.

Forgive me, Father.

My girls are already asleep.  They went to sleep bathed not in my unconditional love, but thoughts of my being annoyed.  Father, please give them sweet dreams – I’ll apologize first thing tomorrow morning.

The Little School that Thinks It Can! (And giveaways...read on!)

I've always liked Kohl's, especially those $5 goodies at the front of the store that are "Kohl's Cares" deals.  Turns out, that money goes to really great causes.  Right now, in celebration of Kohl's Cares® 10th anniversary, they are donating $500,000 to 20 schools each for a total of $10 million!  Suddenly I'm a bigger fan of Kohl's than I realized.  

As a homeschooler, I obviously don't have a vested interest in any particular school (except our own homeschool!) - but I have a friend who has sent all her children to Lucas Christian Academy ("LCA") in Lucas, Texas.  My friend's family is one of the finest families I know.  The mother (my friend) epitomizes the Proverbs 31 woman.  She has homeschooled all her children and when they reach 7th grade, they start attending LCA.

LCA is a certified University-Model School.  What's that, you ask?  You can learn more about LCA and the university-model here.  At LCA, classes are held M/W/F and then the students work at home under parental supervision on T/Th (but upper level students can also take classes on T/Th).  Families are admitted under the agreement they will have an at-home parent overseeing student studies in the home on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Because of the M/W/F class schedule, homeschooling families find LCA a useful bridge to the college years.

You have 20 votes that you can use in the Kohl's Cares Contest - please use 5 of them for LCA!  This link takes you to the school's voting page. Before voting, "Like" Kohl's Cares from your Facebook page, then click the voting button five times for LCA.  Thank you for taking of your time to support the school's efforts. 

What will LCA do with the money?   The school's land will be paid off and the school will break ground to build their own facility.   The 10 yr. old school has been leasing portables and renting space from a small country church.

Please vote, then come back here and comment to be entered in my drawing for a $20 gift card to Amazon or Barnes & Noble (your choice!).  

Also, LCA is giving away an iPad for those who vote (and who get others to vote).  Click here for details on that drawing.

Your vote really CAN make a difference!  Please vote for LCA!!!

***

And in true homeschooling style, Puddin saw me type "vote" and asked me what I was doing.  When I explained it, she said "oh, like a campaign!", and off she went to make a campaign poster:

Don't you just love homeschooling?

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Happy birthday to me...and Mama.

Today's my birthday.  There's a vicious rumor going around about how old I'm turning, which can't possibly be true.  Let's see - the year is 2010, so let's subtract my birth year and...oh, I guess it is true.

My day started off wonderfully - woke up to breakfast in bed, prepared by the girls: 

You have to see *what* they served me:

And I was served a glass of sweet iced tea to wash it all down.

Of course, like any good mommy, I ate most of it.

You'd think after all that sugar, I would have accomplished more today.  But my happy day has also been peppered with sadness.  Oh, I got lots of hugs/kisses from My Hero and the girls, the phone rang a lot with birthday wishes, and I received lots of happy birthday wishes on Facebook from friends near and far.  But the one call I wished would come did not...

The happy birthday call from Mama.

That's because Mama died in the summer of 2006.  For five years now, I've missed her happy birthday call and the sappy birthday card from her that inevitably arrived that same day.  She was very rarely sappy in real life, but the birthday cards always were.

I miss her.

Do you ever really get over losing a parent?  My daddy died when I was very young (right before I turned 10), so for most of my life it was just me and Mama.

Late in life I found My Hero, and then God blessed me with Punkin and Puddin.  I thank Him every day that Mama got to know both girls - and they developed quite the love affair.  Mama called them "my loves".  The girls miss her terribly.

Mama was my protector from early on.  When the school classroom was too hot, she brought a fan.  When I couldn't eat the divinity that she was famous for, she made some without pecans.  There are thousands of other acts that I truly didn't appreciate at the time.  Now I wish I could thank her for all of them.

Sure Mama and I had our moments - we sometimes argued like cats and dogs, but underneath there was always the understanding that we loved each other and would be there for each other.

And now she's gone.  What I wouldn't give to have that phone ring just one more time with a happy birthday wish.  That would be the longest birthday call in recorded history - because I'd take the time to tell her everything I wish I'd told her, and I'd apologize for not being grateful for everything she did for me while she was still here.

I suppose birthdays should be celebrated not just by the birthday boy/girl, but also by the mothers  - after all, giving birth makes it a pretty memorable day for the moms too.

For those of you still blessed to have your mother here on earth, take the time today to thank her.  And remember to tell her happy birthday on your birthday.

Happy birthday, Mama - I love you and I miss you terribly.