Better question – how can it be August 2? Really, August 2? 2011?
My how time flies.
Wasn’t it just Easter yesterday? And Christmas the day before?
Wasn’t it just last year that I brought a blonde, long-awaited bundle of joy home from the hospital? And another much-wanted, brunette bundle of joy six months ago? How can they now be 11 and 9?
Where did the time go? How did it sneak past me so quickly?
Did I read to them enough? Did I play with them enough? Did I make enough forts and play-doh figures and mud-pies? Did I play dress-up, barbies, and princesses enough? Did I play in the sprinklers with them enough?
Did I snuggle enough? Did I tell them I love them enough? Did I hug them enough? Have I taught them enough about God and faith and love and manners and friendship and courtesy and generosity?
No. I fear I haven’t done any of those things enough.
Did I work too much? Did I worry too much about how the house looked? Did I buy them things to replace the time that I couldn’t…didn’t…spend with them? Did I focus on myself too much? Did I….do too much of all those things that distracted me from the most important, precious things?
Yes, sadly, I think I did. And I’m still doing those things.
Why can’t I just be still and enjoy them? They grow so quickly. 11 years has gone by in a flash. I’m sure the next 11 will pass equally as swiftly.
Is it too late?
I choose to believe it’s not too late. I have to believe that. The little girl in me – the part that never grew up - still likes to color and play dolls and make mudpies. It’s pure, unstressful fun. And don’t we all need that, whatever our age?
Why is hindsight always 20/20? My Mama always told me that the older I get, the quicker the time will pass. I didn’t believe her then, but I do now. When I tell my girls that, do they believe me? Or will the pattern continue – will they realize I was right when it’s too late for them to recapture that time? How can I make them understand now, so that they don’t have to live with regrets later?
My big 5-0 birthday is this month. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so focused on the time that I feel has been lost. Facing my own mortality, I guess. Will I live to see my children graduate college? Will I live to see them find their Prince Charming and their Happily Ever After? Will I live to see my grandchildren, and be able to just sit and enjoy them, now that I know how fleeting time is?
I don’t know, but God does. And I’ll rest – try to rest – in that.
And for now, I’m going to go color with my girls.
I was just thinking the same thing. Please God, let me make the most of this day. Let me be patient and kind and help me to spend quality time with my girls. Time does go by so quickly.... I think I need to go buy some new crayons (64 pack with the built in sharpener this year??) and get coloring.:) Lori
ReplyDeleteI still love to color. I'm actually a little sad that my daughter doesn't ask me to color with her much any more. (she is 10) But whenever she asks, I do my best to say YES!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! (and I'm following now)
I think I feel that way at least on e a week. Thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one, and inspiring me to be a more fun mom today.
ReplyDeleteCatherine
Sweet, Sweet post, Becky.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless you, on your birthday and everyday, for years of memory-making, yet to be.
Visiting from the crew, Comment Club, and following your blog. =)
With a Happy Heart,
PK
Happy almost birthday!!! I'll be 40 this month.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff for us all to think about.
Happy early birthday...and yes, time moves too quickly.
ReplyDeleteI remember realizing when I had the boys that time speeds by when you are an adult.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that God knows what my life will hold and I can place my trust in Him.
Visiting from the TOS Crew.
Laura
The older I get the faster the years fly by :( I will be 4-0 next month!!
ReplyDeleteI also struggle with finding a balance between work that must be done and just wallowing in my children. And somehow, somewhere, there is supposed to be some time for just myself?
ReplyDelete