A drive-through attitude adjustment...

"What are you doing here?"

"Bless your heart, shouldn't you be in bed?"

"What are you doing out and about when you have a kidney infection?" 

Those were the questions I was met with today as I walked into the church for our Classical Conversations co-op.  

Their questions brought to mind a couple of my own.  How did those women know I was sick?  More importantly, how did they know it was a kidney infection?  (Not something I would voluntarily divulge to everyone - it was divulged (by me) only to a select few.)

"Your daughter told me what's wrong - sorry you feel so bad."

Oh.  That's how they knew.  Never tell a child something you don't want re-told.  

I'll admit to feeling a bit sorry for myself today.  I was tired.  I was in pain.  I would have preferred to be home in bed.  

Why was I there?  

Because my daughter needed me.   

You see, part of our co-op is an intense afternoon class consisting of grammar, writing and math drills taught by an incredible tutor.  In four weeks, I've learned more from her than I remember from my entire school "career".  Honestly, my most vivid memory of high school English class is that if Mrs. Guillory caught us chewing gum, she made us swallow it.

Our afternoon class usually begins with a race with white boards and markers - "who can beat the tutor".   Motivation is provided by thrown candy to the winner.  Problem is, my eldest daughter still struggles with handwriting.- when the majority of the class is finished, her white board is only half full.  Several times she has cried from frustration.  Punkin and I decided last week that we would race as a team during the next class - she would dictate, and I would serve as her scribe.

I promised her I would be there, and I was. 

Unfortunately, I was still feeling sorry for myself.   

(At such times, isn't it just like God to bring something to mind that serves as a wake-up call?)

As the lunchroom began to empty and the students and parents headed toward the classrooms, suddenly I heard Him.

Becky, you're not there for her - you're there for Me.  

BAM.

(Did you feel the ton of bricks hitting my head?  God often uses that method to get my attention.) 

I very briefly came to a complete standstill.  Think of it as a drive-through attitude adjustment.  Amazingly, no one bumped into me. 

Thank you, Father. 

I was being a terrible witness for my Father.  Grumpy, moody, snippy - great attitude, right?  

We all have pain of some sort.  Many of us struggle with pain on the inside - in our feelings and emotions - where it often hurts the most.  

The woman you saw driving the fancy new convertible in your favorite color?   Perhaps her husband has been unfaithful.

The man who just received the promotion you were hoping for?  Maybe he has recently been diagnosed with cancer.

The teenager with the fashionable new shoes that everyone wants but few can afford?  She might be a latchkey kid with parents who shower her with money in an attempt to compensate for the fact that they're both always working. 

I attempted to regain my servant's heart for the balance of the afternoon.  Yes, I was still in pain.  Yes, I still felt terrible.  Yes, I still yearned to be home in bed.  

But now I realized there was an eternal reason I was there.  

I don't know who He intended me to witness to today.  I pray my attitude changed in time to accomplish His eternal purpose.